Onward it is! :)

I'm pretty excited right now...and hungry cuz i'm having my dinner and writing this blog lol anywayz, i did something today that took me almost over a year or even more to do...i dont know why it was soooo hard for me...maybe it was pride getting in the way or jus plain dumbness...lol oh well whatever it was i'm sooo glad i can put that aside and move on aka progress with my life spiritually.

This has been something i've been lacking recently, and i was wondering why i wasnt so satisfied with my life. somehow i took it out on the people who i love and are close too, my family and friends. wish i cud take all that back. anyways yah i know i dont have the best situation in life right now but there are more people in this world who has it worse than me and time and time again i fail to remember this. Instead i let the negative side get to me. Its always someones fault or if only i had this or blah blah blah was my excuses, not realizing that if i really wanted to be happy it should start with me and my progress in the gospel. Actually, i've known this all along but chose to ignore it instead.

Well today i went in to see the bishop to put everything on the table. In doing so i was hoping to start the process of receiving my patriarchal blessing, something that has always been egged on by my family and friends, especially Lupe Piena. (Also, i wish to obtain a current temple recommend...even if its for baptisms).But this time its different, i'm not getting it cause someone else wants me to get it, but because i want it for myself. :) Anyways, i am four weeks away from getting it yay. Bishop said if i do good within that four weeks it will be a go. In the mean time i have to meet with him every week. I'm so blessed to have a Bishop like him. He believes in me, making me believe in myself. It gives me hope to know that his been thru the same thing i'm going thru right now and to know that he loves and supports me. I so sustain Bishop Tausinga :) anyways, he told me that by leaving his office Satan will tempt me sooo much more, even more than anything i've faced before because he does not want me to progress. That scares me but at the same time its pushing me to set daily goals, that is, i'm going to read the BOM again and have daily prayers. I need direction in my life right now and what better thing to direct me than my very own patriarchal blessing? :)

I'm soooo excited for the future and what it has instore for me. For the first time in a looong time i feel a sense of hope and know that if i put my full trust in the Lord he will direct me and all will be swell..goin be showered with blessings. and this may include a husband too lol...who knows lol so i'm going do my thing, and have the Lord take care of the rest :)

ps: RANDOM but i met a guy today at fhe lol it wasnt anything at all, but he is such a nice guy, like genuinely nice, like super genuine and i've never met a guy that nice before kind lol there was something about him that made me want to get to know him. could be him jus being nice but ya. And its weird cause he aint eeeven my type lol but oh well...jus wanted to share that too while i'm explaining my life lol

but thank the heavens only a few people get to read this, if they even do lol cause rambling is wat i do best. lol ok over and out lol loove u all! :)